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Oh Nothing, Just Another Mighty Walk-Off Dinger From Vladimir Guerrero Jr. 

The New Hampshire Fisher Cats entered the bottom of the seventh* inning Sunday down 5-3 to the Binghamton Rumble Ponies. The very brink of a loss! Whatever would they do? Whosoever could save them from these dire circumstances?

José Bautista Shifts Into The "Too Crummy Even To Play Third Base For The Atlanta Braves" Stage Of His Career José Bautista Shifts Into The "Too Crummy Even To Play Third Base For The Atlanta Braves" Stage Of His Career

José Bautista’s unexpected and endlessly depressing stint as a third-baseman for the Atlanta Braves, kicked-off ominously with a one-year minor league contract in mid-April, has not produced the way anyone involved might’ve hoped: Bautista is hitting a putrid .143 with an alarming .593 OPS in 40 plate appearances this…

The Rays Are Making History With Strange New Pitching Strategies The Rays Are Making History With Strange New Pitching Strategies

The Rays announced last week an extremely unusual, cosmic-brain plan for the immediate future of their pitching rotation: rather than the traditional approach of deploying a starting pitcher to work through the opposing lineup a few times before yielding to the bullpen, manager Kevin Cash decided to play matchup…

Benches Clear In Cubs-Reds After Bold Pitcher Stare-Down Benches Clear In Cubs-Reds After Bold Pitcher Stare-Down

Reds reliever Amir Garrett punctuated an inning-ending strikeout of Javier Baez in the seventh inning Saturday with a triumphant shout, loud enough to be audible over the television broadcast, followed by an aggressive stare-down of his vanquished foe. Unwritten rules and athlete egos being what they are, this did not…

Petty-Ass Derek Jeter Yanks Credentials From Radio Host Who Tracked Down Marlins’ Overseas Corporate Office Petty-Ass Derek Jeter Yanks Credentials From Radio Host Who Tracked Down Marlins’ Overseas Corporate Office

Last month Miami radio host Andy Slater joined Marlins Man on an investigative trip to the British Virgin Islands, where they learned that the corporate address of the Miami Marlins was a post office box, listed in order to establish the Marlins as a foreign company, for the most cynical of reasons. This was an…

Shortstop Pedro Florimon Pitches Perfect Inning, Then Socks Mighty Dinger Shortstop Pedro Florimon Pitches Perfect Inning, Then Socks Mighty Dinger

The dreaded Cardinals chased Phillies ace Jake Arrieta after just three innings in Friday night’s gloomy, rain-delayed tilt in St. Louis. The score was then 4-0; by the time reliever Drew Hutchison finished the sixth inning it was 9-2; the game finally became a laugher when Yacksel Rios allowed another three runs in…

Astros Manager A.J. Hinch On Santa Fe Shooting: "Thoughts And Prayers Are Great, But They're Not Fixing The Problem" Astros Manager A.J. Hinch On Santa Fe Shooting: "Thoughts And Prayers Are Great, But They're Not Fixing The Problem"

This morning, a student at Houston-area Santa Fe High School murdered 10 people with a shotgun and a .38 caliber pistol. This is the 22nd time this year that someone with a gun has either killed or injured someone on a high school campus. Astros manager A.J. Hinch was asked about the deadly attack ahead of tonight’s…

Pirates' Gregory Polanco Becomes The Subject Of A Weird PED Hoax Pirates' Gregory Polanco Becomes The Subject Of A Weird PED Hoax

On Tuesday, just after Mariners second baseman Robinson Cano was suspended 80 games for failing a drug test, Pirates outfielder Gregory Polanco started to receive concerned texts from his friends and family in the Dominican Republic. A fake ESPN tweet began to circulate online, suggesting that Polanco would also be…

Mookie Betts Played Kevin Gausman For A Fool

Mookie Betts, the best non–Mike Trout player in baseball who makes everything look impossibly easy, has a history of showing as little mercy as possible to the division rival Baltimore Orioles. He continued that trend during last night’s 6-2 victory over the O’s in Boston.

D-III Closer Gets Final Three Outs After Puking On The Infield D-III Closer Gets Final Three Outs After Puking On The Infield

Rhodes College beat Franklin College 4-2 on the opening day of D-III regionals today, but it wasn’t without a ninth inning pitching performance that gave new meaning to the phrase “gutting it out.”

Buck Showalter Will Not Yield For Your Home Run Trot

A three-run dinger from Xander Bogaerts gave his Red Sox a 6-0 lead and chased Orioles pitcher Kevin Gausman in the fifth inning of tonight’s game. While Gausman himself couldn’t have been thrilled with his mistake, O’s manager Buck Showalter appeared even more disgusted, as he couldn’t even restrain himself until…

Heck Yeah, J.D. Martinez Is Smashing Dingers Like Clockwork Again Heck Yeah, J.D. Martinez Is Smashing Dingers Like Clockwork Again

New Red Sox signing J.D. Martinez had a very, very good first month in a Boston uniform—an April OPS of .994 is nothing to sneeze at—but Just Dingers has truly been living up to his nickname since May began. And in his first at-bat tonight against the Orioles, J.D.’s fifth-gear hot streak got even more impressive.

"Tommy G?": People On The Street Try To Name A Famous Active Baseball Player

If the 2016 survey of 6,000 sports fans that found no active baseball players cracked the top 50 most popular athletes, the persuasive handwringing over Mike Trout’s likability, and the fact that we just considered this question last week to no definitive answer weren’t convincing, here’s more evidence for the…

The Astros Can Pitch Now And Look Invincible The Astros Can Pitch Now And Look Invincible

It took Justin Verlander just 2 hours and 36 minutes to dispatch the Angels on Wednesday night, striking out seven in a five-hit shutout. We’ve come to expect this sort of thing since Verlander was traded to Houston last August, but it was especially impressive given the team that was on the receiving end of this…

Albert Almora Jr. Discovers Invisible Stair In Center Field Wall

If baseball players didn’t wear cleats, Tyler Flowers would have earned himself a dinger in his first at-bat tonight. But because outfielders have those spikes on their feet, the Braves catcher’s long fly ball to center field was hauled in by the Cubs’ Albert Almora Jr., who dug his cleats into the wall to gain some…

Please Just Call Up Vladimir Guerrero Jr., He's Too Good For The Minor Leagues Please Just Call Up Vladimir Guerrero Jr., He's Too Good For The Minor Leagues

Truly I say to you today: Double-A ball offers no challenge to Vladimir Guerrero Jr. besides that of a blank canvas upon which he can paint wild highlights. The 19-year-old slugger has spent his time with the New Hampshire Fisher Cats smacking big dingers and generally looking like he belongs at a higher level, and…

Let's Remember Some Guys, Random Baseball Card Treasure Trove Volume II

In this week’s thrilling installment of Let’s Remember Some Guys, Lauren and I return to the treasure trove/antique printer box of unsolicited baseball cards mailed to our office by an unnamed benefactor in search of ... I should probably have figured out the conclusion to this sentence before I started writing it.

Joey Votto "Terribly Ashamed" Of Saying Semi-Rude Things About Canada Joey Votto "Terribly Ashamed" Of Saying Semi-Rude Things About Canada

Reds first baseman Joey Votto is a fantastic baseball player, a charmingly prickly dude, and a Canadian. Those last two things converged recently to produce one of his more memorable quotes, in which he explained that he really doesn’t give a shit about Canada.

The MLB Narcs Have Come For Willson Contreras And His Venezuela Sleeve The MLB Narcs Have Come For Willson Contreras And His Venezuela Sleeve

Cubs catcher Willson Contreras began wearing a Venezuelan-flag sleeve to honor his home country last summer, and it has become an essential component of his uniform. But as part of MLB’s recent efforts to crack down on uniform regulations, Contreras has been told by the league that he can no longer wear the sleeve, …

Josh Reddick Fries Mike Trout At Third, Then Cooks Ian Kinsler At The Plate

Astros right fielder Josh Reddick had to have assumed he taught the Angels a lesson about running on his arm in the sixth inning tonight. When Mike Trout tried to move from first to third on a Shohei Ohtani single, he quickly became, in the accurate words of the announcer, “a dead duck.”

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