Chris Thompson's posts - Thai uPOST

Report: Oh God Yes, Jon Gruden Is "Very High" On Nathan Peterman Report: Oh God Yes, Jon Gruden Is "Very High" On Nathan Peterman

Former Bills quarterback Nathan Peterman is reportedly doing the rounds this week, hoping to catch on at the bottom end of some poor team’s depth chart and begin rebuilding his football career. He worked out with the Buccaneers on Tuesday, and his tour will reportedly soon take him out west, where a certain…

Mason Plumlee Did What Now?

The Nuggets have that glow these days. Competent role-players are oozing out of the woodwork. Dumb shots are falling. Mason Plumlee is dusting Harrison Barnes with a slick behind-the-back dribble and a lefty scoop layup to beat the buzzer and put a goofy exclamation point on a 74-point first half, wait what—

Zion Williamson Bonked His Forehead On The Damn Backboard

We are used to Zion Williamson’s rare combination of dump truck size and comic book athleticism putting the opposition in grave danger, but this is maybe the first sign that young Zion can truly fuck himself up if he isn’t real careful out there:

“There’s only one woman’s player whose name I know,” said the late night host. “That’s Lisa Lane, and the only thing I recall about her is that she’s dead.” Lisa Lane was not dead, and you should read Emma Baccellieri on gender inequality in chess.

Report: The Tessitore-Witten-McFarland Trio Will Be Back For The 2019 NFL Season Report: The Tessitore-Witten-McFarland Trio Will Be Back For The 2019 NFL Season

The Joe Tessitore-Jason Witten-Booger McFarland Monday Night Football crew has been very, hmm, uneven in its first season. Tessitore is blandly Fine; Witten sometimes talks himself into dizzying circles; McFarland’s sideline scooter seems to produce an awful lot of confusion in his analysis. If you are a fan of…

Taj Gibson's Loose Shoe Temporarily Becomes Important Defensive Weapon

Taj Gibson lost his shoe on a post move early in the first quarter of tonight’s Kings-Timberwolves game. His shoeless layup went down, which is cool enough, but play did not stop, and so Gibson was forced to hoof it down to the defensive end in a sock, holding his shoe in his right hand.

Kerfuffle Erupts Between Thunder And Bitter, Tightly-Wound Bulls

The sad, demoralized Bulls are having their asses handed to them in Oklahoma City tonight. Perhaps the familiarity of another grim drubbing was more than they could bear—in the third quarter, down 21 points, they picked several fights all at once:

Maniac Football Coach Teams With Maniac Basketball Player To Deliver Watered-Down Gordon Gekko Speech To Impressionable Young Browns Maniac Football Coach Teams With Maniac Basketball Player To Deliver Watered-Down Gordon Gekko Speech To Impressionable Young Browns

This is just an unbelievably cursed combination of proper nouns: Browns head coach Gregg Williams used help from retired coin-operated fortune-teller Phil Jackson to arrange for dead-eyed thinkfluencer Kobe Bryant to deliver a motivational talk to his young team ahead of their week 15 game this past weekend.

Dave Joerger Wildly Overshoots The Mark While Clarifying Excessively Pro-Luka Dončić Comments Dave Joerger Wildly Overshoots The Mark While Clarifying Excessively Pro-Luka Dončić Comments

The good young Kings beat the good young Mavericks on Sunday, in Luka Dončić’s first career regular season game against the team that unexpectedly passed on drafting him with the second overall pick back in June. Dončić had 28 points on 15 shots and was excellent; Marvin Bagley III, whom the Kings selected ahead of …

Reports: Dan Snyder Is Conspiring With Congressional Republicans And The White House To Screw D.C. Residents Reports: Dan Snyder Is Conspiring With Congressional Republicans And The White House To Screw D.C. Residents

Eventually Dan Snyder is going to get around to demanding public money for a new stadium for his crappy team, and brother, when he gets there, it’s going to be huge. But between now and then he has to figure out which plot of land in which municipality will become the site of his obscene moat-encircled football…

“I said, ‘Who am I kidding?’ This guy is a great player. He’s a great kid, has a great attitude, and I’m bringing him off the bench? I just said, ‘Screw this.’” Nick Kosmider of The Athletic has a fun feature on how Mike Malone and the Nuggets made the franchise-altering decision to start Nikola Jokić over Jusuf Nurkić…

This Nightmarish Bulls Season Appears To Be Wearing On Poor Horace Grant

The Bulls lost to the Magic in Mexico City Thursday night, in a game that was mostly uneventful, apart from leading scorer and leadership council member Zach LaVine hearing an ominous pop in his lower leg on a late drive. Some interesting news came after the game, when ESPN reported that Jabari Parker…

The Chargers Clinched A Playoff Berth In Extremely Ballsy Fashion

The Chiefs went up two touchdowns with just over eight minutes left in the fourth quarter Thursday night, on a Damien Williams one-yard plunge to cap a 13-play drive. They’d put together three 10-play drives in the game to that point, and the drive they’d just wrapped covered 73 yards and almost eight minutes of…

Suns Owner Robert Sarver Refutes Report Of Relocation Threat, Says The Suns "Are Not Leaving Phoenix" Suns Owner Robert Sarver Refutes Report Of Relocation Threat, Says The Suns "Are Not Leaving Phoenix"

Reports yesterday had Suns owner and overall dingus Robert Sarver threatening to relocate his shoddy-ass basketball operation to Las Vegas or Seattle if the city of Phoenix didn’t get behind a public financing plan to renovate the team’s current home. Also yesterday, Sarver was thrashed at a city council meeting by…

Report: Anonymous Executive Says "That Whole Anthem Issue" Will Keep Bruce Maxwell Out Of Baseball Report: Anonymous Executive Says "That Whole Anthem Issue" Will Keep Bruce Maxwell Out Of Baseball

Former Athletic Bruce Maxwell is currently without a team, and is distressed enough about it that he recently fired his agent. Teams need catchers—it seems like half the league is circling around Marlins catcher J.T. Realmuto—and Maxwell is a catcher, and while he would be exactly no one’s idea of a savior at the…

Pacers Fans Play The Most Infuriating Game Of Tic-Tac-Toe In Human History

Be warned: What you are about to see will trouble your dreams for years to come. What the fuck. Two Indiana Pacers fans squared off in a game of tic-tac-toe, and the results are just fucking mind-boggling.

Imagine Your Boss Is Michael Jordan, And Imagine He's Angry Enough To Hit You

The Hornets came back from a 12-point second-half deficit to topple the Detroit Pistons Wednesday night, by the score of 108–107. The ending was dramatic: the Hornets went on a 13–0 run to go from down 101-91 with about six minutes on the clock to up 104-101 with 47 seconds left in regulation. The teams then traded…

Spencer Dinwiddie Channels His Inner Steph Curry, Torches The 76ers Spencer Dinwiddie Channels His Inner Steph Curry, Torches The 76ers

Spencer Dinwiddie is a good basketball man with a good name and a slick, good-looking offensive game. He’s spent all but the first 46 games of his four-plus years in the NBA on miserable, rebuilding Brooklyn teams, which means neither his fun basketball skills nor his delightful personality have gotten the attention…

“The Starbucks across the hall emptied out; Marlins Man scuffled around the edges of the crowd, attempting to get a photograph, positioning his phone vertically and then horizontally.” Emma Baccellieri on Scott Boras’s special brand of chaos at baseball’s winter meetings.

More Chris Thompson's posts »

Language