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Ass Team Of The Week: The Vikings Reached Hell In 10 Minutes Ass Team Of The Week: The Vikings Reached Hell In 10 Minutes

Welcome to Ass Team Of The Week, a recurring feature in which we celebrate the most butt teams the NFL has to offer.

Sloppy Wrigley Bleacher Fight Features One Heroic Peacekeeper And One Racist Bro Sloppy Wrigley Bleacher Fight Features One Heroic Peacekeeper And One Racist Bro

Things got ugly in the Wrigley Field bleachers after last night’s Cubs game, with two groups of fans engaging in some messy brawling. Was there racism involved? Of course.

The NFL's Stupid New Roughing The Passer Rule Cost William Hayes His Season The NFL's Stupid New Roughing The Passer Rule Cost William Hayes His Season

Dolphins defensive lineman William Hayes hurt himself while sacking Derek Carr yesterday, and today two worst-case scenarios were confirmed. Not only did Hayes tear his ACL on the play, he did so while trying to follow the NFL’s asinine new rule that prevents defenders from landing on the quarterback.

Khalil Mack Is Pass-Rushing Perfection

Khalil Mack’s first three games as a member of the Chicago Bears have gone like this: five tackles, two sacks, one forced fumble; five tackles, one sack, one forced fumble; three tackles, one sack, one forced fumble. He’s in the zone right now.

The Patriots Are Slllooooowwwww The Patriots Are Slllooooowwwww

Nobody is allowed to say that this is finally the season when it all comes apart for the New England Patriots until they have been mathematically eliminated from playoff contention. Nobody is allowed to do it! But what we can do, a few hours after the Pats were handily beaten on national TV by a Lions team that looked…

Mavericks Investigation Finds Rampant Sexual Harassment Permitted By "Organizational Shortcomings" Mavericks Investigation Finds Rampant Sexual Harassment Permitted By "Organizational Shortcomings"

After Sports Illustrated published a report on Feb. 20, 2018 detailing the Dallas Mavericks’ culture of misogyny and sexual harassment, the team hired a law firm to conduct an independent investigation into the organization. The result of that investigation, a 43-page report, was released today. It details multiple…

Texas School Superintendent Gets Racist On Facebook About Deshaun Watson Texas School Superintendent Gets Racist On Facebook About Deshaun Watson

Lynn Redden, the superintendent of the Onalaska Independent School District in Onalaska, Texas, was caught being racist online when he commented “When you need precision decision making you can’t count on a black quarterback,” on a Facebook post about the Houston Texans’ Week 2 loss to the Titans.

Today In Dumb Shit College Sports Programs Spend Money On Instead Of Paying Players: Gargantuan TV Today In Dumb Shit College Sports Programs Spend Money On Instead Of Paying Players: Gargantuan TV

Big-time college sports programs are in a never-ending, Brewster’s Millions–style race to burn through as much money as possible in order to claim that they are not profitable and thus can’t pay players. State-of-the-art practice facilities and bloated administrator contracts used to be enough to hide all that dough,…

Ass Team Of The Week: Everything Is Wrong With The Arizona Cardinals

Welcome to Ass Team Of The Week, a recurring feature in which we celebrate the most butt teams the NFL has to offer.

The Bears Are Going To Need More From Mitchell Trubisky At Some Point The Bears Are Going To Need More From Mitchell Trubisky At Some Point

The Bears beat the Seahawks 24-17 last night, and did so while looking like a team a few weight classes above their opponent. The defense, led by all-world linebacker Khalil Mack, was particularly impressive, getting into the backfield at will throughout the first half and keeping Seattle’s offense pinned in its own…

Mike Zimmer On Why He Cut Kicker Daniel Carlson: "Did You See The Game?"

Being a kicker in the NFL sucks not only because everyone gets mad at you when you fuck up, but also because nobody ever respected you all that much in the first place. How else to explain Vikings head coach Mike Zimmer answering a question about why he cut kicker Daniel Carlson—who missed three field goals on Sunday,…

The Skins Didn't Sell Out Their Home Opener Because They Stink The Skins Didn't Sell Out Their Home Opener Because They Stink

Fresh off admitting that their 200,000-person season ticket waiting list never actually existed, Washington hosted the Indianapolis Colts in their home opener yesterday. The team’s stated 50-year home sellout streak has long been bunk, but if there was ever a time to see a big crowd at a Skins game, a home opener…

Mike Vrabel Doesn't Have A Quarterback So He'll Play Two Quarterbacks Mike Vrabel Doesn't Have A Quarterback So He'll Play Two Quarterbacks

Titans coach Mike Vrabel is one week into his NFL head coaching career, and so far his contributions to the franchise have consisted of an obnoxious pregame workout routine and getting beat by the Dolphins. But he’s got a new wrinkle for Week 2: two quarterbacks at the same time.

Anthony Rizzo Dealt With The Cubs' Insane Travel Schedule By Never Taking Off His Uniform Anthony Rizzo Dealt With The Cubs' Insane Travel Schedule By Never Taking Off His Uniform

The Chicago Cubs caught a bad break in terms of travel this week. After Wednesday’s home loss to the Milwaukee Brewers, they had to jump on a plane and fly to Washington, D.C. to play a make-up game against the Nationals that had been rained out last weekend. That game ended at almost 8:00 p.m. local time, at which…

Cop Who Joked About Arresting Sterling Brown On Facebook Has Been Fired Cop Who Joked About Arresting Sterling Brown On Facebook Has Been Fired

In June, Milwaukee Bucks player Sterling Brown filed a civil suit against the city of Milwaukee, Milwaukee Police Chief Alfonso Morales, and eight other MPD officers for the roles they played in Brown’s Jan. 26 arrest, during which he was tackled and tased by officers for no reason. That suit revealed that one of the…

Still No Le'Veon Bell Still No Le'Veon Bell

It’s Wednesday, the Pittsburgh Steelers are about to start their weekly team meeting, and Le’Veon Bell is reportedly nowhere to be found.

Lawsuit Claims Larry Nassar Raped And Impregnated Field Hockey Player In 1992 Lawsuit Claims Larry Nassar Raped And Impregnated Field Hockey Player In 1992

A lawsuit against Michigan State University filed by former Michigan State field hockey player Erika Davis alleges that disgraced former university doctor Larry Nassar sedated, raped, and impregnated her. The suit also claims that former athletic director George Perles, who is now a university trustee, intervened on…

Jon Gruden Says He'll "Look At The Reasons Why" The Raiders Had No Pass Rush Jon Gruden Says He'll "Look At The Reasons Why" The Raiders Had No Pass Rush

The Raiders actually looked feisty in the first half of their season-opener against the Rams last night. There were sparks of creativity on offense, a vintage Beast Mode touchdown, and a 13-10 halftime lead to mark head coach Jon Gruden’s return to the NFL. Everything fell apart in the second half, though, and the…

They Turned Spider-Man Into A Damn Cop And It Sucks They Turned Spider-Man Into A Damn Cop And It Sucks

The new Spider-Man video game came out for PlayStation 4 last week, and I was eager to spend a chunk of my weekend playing it. Some things I immensely enjoyed during my few hours of play time: web swinging, jumping off buildings, web swinging, whispering “whoa, that looks just like the real Empire State Building,” and…

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